don't even bother to care

I'll make this quick so you dont have to listen. I do not update much anymore. I find the internet to be lame. I hate getting on. I have grown tired of myspace. I have grown tired of being fake because every fucking person on myspace is. dont pretend you are not. Then I got on here and I saw some of the same things. There were people that I would listen to and all of a sudden it was blah blah i am this cool shit. I do not want to hear/read it. Especially if you are giving me shit about fucking retarded things.
I am not fake. Do not get me wrong but I am good at pretending to be someone you want. I do however listen to the music I say and I will admit to listening to everything you hate. My favorite band is now on the radio. They are still my favorite band, I will not fucking change that. My clothes are bought from random stores usually on the sale rack. Fuck you. I have a shopping addiction and still need to pay 6 grand for college. My socks do not match and I like it that way.
I actually do enjoy going to shows to listen to bands. I do not want to be seen scene. I just want to enjoy the music so many have tried to provide. I do not spit out names of people I know just to sound like I am important. I would rather hang out with someone nobody knows then to make you think I give a damn about a name. And if I happen to refer to a band member's name it is because I took the time to learn someone because I respect their musical talent.
I do slit my wrists on occasion as well as cutting my legs. I do not do this because you get awards for having the most blood spill. I cut to release the pain you will never see.
I do actually have goals in my life. I want to go to school and learn everything I can. Music is wonderful but I am not going to rely on it and rely on anyone else. I want to make it on my own. I respect my parents and do not tell me to defy them. I think those of you that treat your parents like shit need to realize what is going on. They may be strict and difficult but it will turn out to be for a great reason like suffering to put aside a few grand so that you can attend a college you love more than anything.
I am a dork. I do not care if you want to say something about that. I will probably get on your nerves and make you roll your eyes. Sorry I will not change. I love most my friends more than I love myself. I always want what I cannot have. If you are throwing yourself at me then I will not want you. I might use you though, and I do apologize. I do not mind being used.
I am a sponge.
Fucking absorb me.
I hate my job. I hate how I live my life sometimes. I hate when I get drunk. I hate when people lie to me. I do get hurt really easy and I will not let you know it. You will never know you ripped my heart out. I do not care what you think. I will never be more naked then I am right now.